i have an idea for a novel. i've had this idea for....oh let's say varying forms of the same basic story--since high school. i graduated from high school a long time ago.
the current incarnation of said story is about someone who moves back in with her parents after having lived on her own for years, and no one, not the heroine, not her parents, not her friends or co-workers or random people she tells on the street is happy about it. other things happen, but the basic plot is whether or not she will grow up and move out within the time limit imposed on her (1 year).
in my actual life, it's very likely that i will have to move back in with my parents. i used to live with them, then i moved out, and now, because i obviously can't be left to my own devices to behave like an adult when it comes to career advancement or financial responsibility, i've basically screwed myself and cannot afford my life as i know it.
my parents are not happy and i am definitely not happy and i think my mother is going to have to really find her inner zen to become anywhere near "comfortable" with my 6 month plan to stay with them. my friends, who know about this, are supportive, but i know they're all baffled and disappointed in my lack of forward momentum. i've asked my father not to tell my extended family because they already pity me enough.
the only person who thinks this is a great idea is my new therapist. and that's only because i told her about my novel (that i have yet to write--something i was hoping to motivate myself to do with her guidance) and she thinks it's a wonderful opportunity to get material.
while i agree that it could be an "on the front lines" opportunity, it ould also be a disasterous restarting of a viscious cycle. the very neuroses, problems, annoyances... ISSUES, i would want to relive in order to be able to depict accurately, are exactly the kinds of issues i should be avoiding, for EVERYONE'S sanity. my therapist thinks that it won't be the same as the last time i lived at home because i'm different now and that i should also use the time to work through the issues...but i've only been to see her 3 times now, so who knows if she has any real idea of what i'm like in this situation. though, i've come to the sad belief that i am a very textbook, cliche, " i can analyze her in 3 notes" patient.
at the same time, it is kind of ...i don't know if exciting is the right word, but...ok, exciting to witness the synchronicity that seems to be occuring now. not just with the moving back in, but in little scenes and people i observe, seemingly by chance, that are straight out of my plotline. not that i haven't observed these kinds of occurences ever before, but they seem to be coming frequently now.
i've never fully believed in signs. not beyond the instantaneous, "hey, this could be a sign....hey lets get some pizza" realization. but maybe it's time to "eatpraylovesecretnewearth"--these signs into something more tangible, meaningful, literary and quite possibly (if i'm to believe all the positive energy out=positive results messages touted by the above works) lucrative???
just think, i could give my heroine the kind of awesome outcome i would wish for myself. or at the very least, a lot of kick ass one liners.
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
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